Entering a New Reality

It is frequently stated amongst caregivers that confusion is one of the most difficult things to manage. Oftentimes, it is our own inability to process the information being offered verbally or non-verbally by those for whom we care that leads to our frustration. What we must learn to do is not always an easy feat, yet one that is imperative if we are to meet the needs of those entrusted to our care. The feat we must accomplish is to step within the reality that is theirs.

Distraction

What you and I know to be true and accurate is not perceived as such by those whose thought process has been altered. Their own internal reality and their own set of rules are what govern their thoughts and their behavior. By entering into that realm, we ultimately can provide a more meaningful existence through understanding and the development of a trusting relationship.

"I need the bus schedule so that I can go home." "My wife must be worried with me being gone so long." In every day interactions at Silverado, we have all come in contact with these or similar statements. It is disconcerting for any of us to feel that we must "lie" to a resident or to a loved one.

But in actuality, by validating these statements and their feelings, we gain access into their reality. These statements are very real to them and we are simply acknowledging that fact. By encouraging a calmer interaction through validation, we gain their trust and can then introduce the simple techniques of redirection and distraction towards a safer topic, one that will calm their troubled thoughts. "Let's go get a drink while we wait for the bus." "Your wife has asked for us to watch over you today. She will be back later to see you." These are all simple statements that broke no argument and will validate their thoughts and feelings.

The only redeeming factor with dementia, if there is one to be had, is that by the time they walk from one end of the community to the other, the original intent has been forgotten.