Communicating with Compassion

Dementia can be described as the loss of intellectual functions such as thinking, remembering and reasoning as well as changes in behavior and mood. A person's daily ability to function becomes difficult, if not impossible. This group of symptoms also may accompany certain diseases such as Alzheimer's, Huntington's, Pick's, and Parkinson's disease. There are many ways in which you, as the caregiver, can help those living with dementia through their day.

Those with dementia have the same needs as everyone else. The only difference is in how their needs are met. They require:

• Appropriate Stimulation.
• Companionship.
• To feel secure and valued.
• To maintain their self-esteem and be treated with dignity and respect.

Encourage independence:

• Allow them to do as much as they can for themselves, but don't expect them to regain lost skills.
• Break tasks down into small steps that they can accomplish.
• Assess their skills frequently so that you can adjust your expectations and level of help.
• Use your sense of humor. It's important to have fun together.

Be Patient:

• Don't rush them.
• Keep in mind that the "ability to remember" cannot be forced.
• Don't take their anger or hostility personally. They may be trying to communicate.
• Be prepared to listen to the same story and answer the same questions more than once. Be aware that they have no control over their behavior. Their inhibitions, impulses, control, and judgment have declined..
• Don't argue. Their ability to reason decreases as the disease progresses.
• Show compassion. They may understand more than they can express.
• Their memories of the past remain intact longer. It's therapeutic to "remember the good old days" with them.
• Your behavior and emotions affect them. Their moods mirror your frustration with them - or your acceptance of them.
• They obtain stability and comfort through structure, routine, and familiarity.
• Reassurance and distraction tactics may help to alleviate their suspicion.

As the caregiver, you're the one who has patience, compassion, hope and humor. Unfortunately, we cannot stop this awful disease from progressing, from stealing away those whom we cherish, those we love. We can, however, be patient, redirect and distract again, and again.